Everytime we see each other, I feel like having a tremendous fight.... Wanting to blame him for ruining my life. But, is my life really ruined?

I have a good career, nice friends, humble home, loving family. What else could I ask for? A lovelife? Having been hurt a lot of times... not having the real guy I could run into in times of weariness.

If it wasn't for him, probably I am now in my true man's arms, happy. But he came into my life like a storm that passed and left me with cries, with pain and heartaches.  But, if I didn't allow this, is there really a happy ending?

Maybe, this is my fault. I am the captain of this girl's heart. It is in my command to let myself be damaged. Maybe, protecting myself is a must have and loving me is the thing I should be learning by now.

It was july 19. I was driving, crying in the middle of Muntinlupa streets.... Talking to a dear friend. A friend that never in my wildest dream that I would fall for him.

He comforted my broken heart, not realizing that this guy would tear my world apart.

I am once again too late for a love that supposed to make me feel complete. Once again, he is already in a commitment. With whom, I never bothered to ask.

He's nice, he's a good friend, he's the one I've been looking for, all my life. We could spend time talking about everything, wothout barriers, I could confide every bit of this heart's confession. Everything, everything even this feelings I have for him.

Every text message that I get from him makes me smile, makes my heart leap. Makes my day complete. Is he my everything? I was supposed to be somebody's girl now, but I refused, too bad, but I don't regret. Loving him without expecting anything in return satisfies me yet. But, for how long? When will I stop?

Maybe for now, I stand to be next to him. Just to feel him in my heart will keep me alive still.

I don't miss anyone from Philippines.... nobody, even the guy I really love... but then why is this happening to me???

I feel like a yacht, driving itself in the middle of the sea going nowhere. Wishing that someone would lead to me where I really should be. Falling in love with numerous guys I've been acquianted with.  But, why seems all guys are already a private property? Can I just meet someone who is as free as me????

It's okay to fall inlove... but make sure not with a married one....

It has been a joyous ride from Philippines to Thailand. The hotel was great too! But what a funny way of starting the Thailand adventure by banging your face in a glass door to balcony! Tohn Norici and Tekba was laughing their hearts out seeing the mark of my forehead on the very clear glass door.

And yet.. the bloopers didn't just stop there. I lost 2 bracelets, 1 was flushed in the toilet, broke my necklace and ripped my pants. I also accidently slipped in the CR cubicle, and made a 180 degrees split.

What seems to be the most unforgettable was breaking a floor cement in a souvenir shop. Am I that heavy????? Do you think so?

Thanks to Tekba from saving me on the last day of my first week.. her pants got ripped just straight in the middle of it.

How could possibly one say that everything is okay where in fact deep inside someone is killing you? I am the great martyr as what my friends always say.... but, this is the reality. If you love someone, then you have to be happy whenever he's happy, the world is full of martyrs, and is it really okay?

As much as I wanted to hug him, be sweet in front of him, but I can't. He is inlove with someone else.... someone...a very special someone.

Sometimes I wish he loves me too... does he really care? Does his eyes mean anything that I should be happy? But wishes are just wishes... and a lot of times.... miracles are the only hope left.

I love you.... I love you... I love you.

Maybe, love wasn't meant for me...

Just when everybody knew how much I love you, and the time you pretended that I don't exist. I am just a friend, a very dear friend for you.

You see me so young, so fragile, so sensitive... but you never see how much pain you bring to me. So much tears I cried, the time you closed your door, isn't there a space for me in your heart?

A girl once said that I make you look like stupid, I was the one making you confused about this feeling that I have. Tell me, how am I supposed to say I love you so much, when you have someone out there waiting you in the rain? How am I going to take the risk of loosing such a dear friend, who makes me feel secured at night? How am I going to touch your heart, when someone is holding on to it? How?

A friend of yours told me to back off... Can I? Will this forever sacrificing my heart can endure the wound that in every time I see your face so kind cuts it more... It bleeds so much, that I can't anymore breathe the air of the world that is providing me to continue this life.

When will this end. When will I forget you? When will love be meant for me? Will someone save me? Will you love me?

You came along, unexpectedly
I was doing fine in my little world
Oh baby please don't get me wrong
'Cause I'm not complaining
But you see, you got my mind spinning

REFRAIN:
Why can't it be
Why can't it be the two of us
Why can't we be lovers
Only friends
You came along
At a wrong place, at a wrong time
Or was it me

Baby I dream of you every minute
You're in my dreams
You're always in it
That's the only place I know
Where you could be mine
And I'm yours but only
Till I wake up

REFRAIN:
Why can't it be
Why can't it be the two of us
Why can't we be lovers
Only friends
You came along
At a wrong place, at a wrong time
You came along
At a wrong place, at a wrong time
Or was it me